So we all know that saying, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them!” I’m aaall for that. Love it, even. People will tell you anything these days. Actions do speak louder than words, for the most part. However, sometimes, when someone tells you who they are… it’s alright to listen too. And unless, they’re actions completely negate or contradict what they said continue to govern your relationship or interactions with that person accordingly… to the letter.
I’m a very laid back person when it comes to socializing, my interactions, and relationships with people. I’m pretty open to meeting people, learning new things, good conversation and other philosophies. All I ask from people that enter my life is that they be honest with me. That’s about it. Be honest. Be upfront. Don’t try to protect my feelings, don’t assume the worst. Just tell me what it is, and we will work it out if we can.
Oddly enough, no matter how much I try to convince others of this simple, and solitary rule with me, some still decide that I don’t mean it. I’m sure that there are a lot of men and women alike who claim to be different from the rest. I am not one of those people. I’m not saying that I’m just like every other woman you’ve met either. I’m simply saying that I am me. And when you’re dealing with me, understand that that means being real, above all else.
Let’s take perhaps the easiest and most obvious example, cheating. Hey (shruggs shoulders), it happens. And that’s honestly how I feel about it; the act of it. But what’s most important to me, even more so than the act, is how you decide to deal with it. Life is 10% what happens, and 90% how you react to it. If one cheated on me, and lied about it or was deceitful about it, I would be furious! My fury, would not stem entirely from that fact that someone cheated on me… the act… what happened. That’s just 10%. There are a plethora of other factors that I consider. Gotta look at the bigger picture, guy. I’m not just thinking about the fact that you cheated on me. I’m thinking about the 90%… how you reacted… your character…who YOU are. I’m thinking about the fact that you lied about it, the reasons you decided it would be better to lie about it, and how that affects my past, presence, and future with you if any and/or all are still applicable.
90% of who you are is telling me that not only are you disloyal, you’re deceitful, you don’t trust me enough to tell me the truth (and what’s a relationship without trust??), you are willing to knowingly steer me wrong (so you’re probably not dependable), in short, you’re not a decent person and I don’t want or need that in my life. You’ll probably either do me wrong or eventually drag me down to you’re level. Why would I want to remain stagnate or regress?? I’ve got enough on my plate, thanks!
I am on a mission. Period. Along that path, you come along and convince me that you deserve to share MY special path for a season, and that’s fine. What’s not ok is that if necessary and warranted, I might make some revisions to fit you into the grand scheme of things and if that decision is made under false pretences that decision is now a mistake. Basically, you take me off my path, as it was, and lead me up shit creek, blindfolded without a paddle, for nothing. In short, you waste my time, and I hate that.
So…. when I tell you… “Listen, (insert pet name), I just want you to be honest with me. That’s all I ask. I promise, I can deal with it, whatever it is. At least with the truth, I can work it out, get over it, handle it accurately. I CAN’T deal with lies. I don’t know how to navigate and work with that. But truth, though it may hurt at times, is at the very least manageable. So just be real with me.”…. LISTEN! :)
